"How are you today?"
"I'm great, how are you?"
The best thing is that I can say it with a smile on my face and a ring in my voice, and you won't question it even for a minute. I'm that good at it.
But let's face it. I'm just as broken and broken-hearted as the next froot loopy fool. I don't think life really ever takes us where we expect ourselves to be. Those expectations are what cause us to break our own hearts, half the time. Of course, there's time and unforseen occurrence, and some things we can't control or handle. Sometimes, we're just subjected to an entirely crappy childhood. And anyone who says, "That's no excuse, get your life together and move on," etc. etc. has either a) had an excellent childhood or b) had a terrible childhood and is resentful about the fact that they can't figure out how to move on from it.
Life leaves scars, and yes some of them are permanent. It doesn't matter if we're scarred because of poor choices we've made or because of poor choices someone else made for us or because the earth is so much bigger than us and has no regard for our itty bitty little seemingly insignificant lives.
I'm trying to figure out how to be okay with those scars. I'm trying to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep it moving. Sometimes, rock bottom isn't rock bottom. Sometimes, it's just a turning point.
Regardless of the way I feel, the world isn't going to stop turning. And I'm well aware that maybe five people will read this post if I'm lucky. That doesn't really matter to me. It's not tumbling around in the empty space inside my skull anymore. And anyway it's rather symbolic of life in general. Really, when you have your biggest, worst breakdown, when your entire world seems to collapse underneath your toes, when the sky goes black and you begin to lose your way, how many people notice? The ones that count.
That's the idea.
So Alex is in therapy. It's time to fix Alex :)
Bedtime.
-Me<3
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